Domestic Disasters

No matter how hard I try, I am not domestic..in the least bit. Even the simplest task causes issues. Here are some stories of my domestic doozies:

One time at a friends (John) apartment I said that I would do all of his dishes since he was letting me wash clothes. Of course I thought I was being helpful. So as my clothes are washing and drying I load the dishwasher, put the soap in, close it up, and we leave to go get ice cream or something. Well when we got back we walked down to another friend's apartment before going back in his. While we were in the other apartment John's roommate came in and said that we needed to get back to the apartment because something was wrong with the dishwasher. Well we walk in and soap suds are coming from the kitchen and are about to be in the den. So John runs through the suds turns the dishwasher off, then looks and me and asks, what I had done. I said nothing I just loaded the dishes, and filled up the soap cup with the Dawn dish washing liquid from the back of the sink. (I thought that was what you were suppose to use.) After lots of laughing, and scooping soap suds up with cups, I learned not to use Dawn to wash dishes.

A friend of mine from high school was home one weekend and a good friend of mine from college had come to Tupelo to visit, too. So while they were there I thought that I would try to bake cookies from scratch. As I read the cookbook I realized that I had all the ingredients except for one...the milk. Since I was only missing one ingredient I decided it wasn't worth going to the grocery store for that when I could just substitute something for milk. In my mind, I thought well butter and milk both come from cows, so instead of using milk I will just melt butter, it's probably about the same consistency, and if not I will melt a little extra just to make up for it. At this point, both of my friends had arrived and the cookies were baking in the oven. When I pulled them out they looked a little different from other cookies, but I didn't think much about it. That was until, I tried to scrape them off the cookie sheet and serve them, and they were the consistency of cornbread. The cookies were not even edible, we all tried them and they were terrible!! The dog wouldn't even eat the cookies.

Recently, I pulled another domestic disaster, there was a group of us all cooking and grilling out together. At this point in my life everyone knows jsut to ask me to go buy something that is pre-made, and I do. But on this particular night I felt like I should help everyone else with their cooking. Someone asked me to turn the burner on the stove on so I just clicked it on and waited for the burner to get hot. I walked in the den to talk to everyone while a waited. Well about 5 minutes later, one of the guys started going crazy and yelling about how someone must have been trying to kill us. Little did I know it was a gas stove and you are suppose to light those things....oops. I had just turned on the gas and it was filling up the house. Needless to say my domestic duties were taken away.

My family and friends have all learned not to ask me to cook or bake, instead just go by and pick something up. That's fine with me, to be honest I think it stresses me out too much to cook at this point in my life anyway. This lack of domestic ability was inherited so I can blame it on that, my sweet Nanna I not a cook either, in fact we ask her not to cook at Thanksgiving and Christmas (she's the one where I learned that you can "substitute" ingredients from), but she always says as long as her Visa card still swipes there will be food on the table.